Katy Perry obtained into house however I can’t get to Norwich | Stewart Lee

A group of six girls returned to Earth from house on Monday, together with Katy Perry, the previous spouse of the Trump cheerleader Russell Model; and the previous Fox information presenter and philanthropist Lauren Sánchez, fiancee of Donald Trump’s media lapdog Jeff Bezos, who bent Washington Publish editorial coverage to favour the New American Fascism ™ ®. It’s a disgrace they didn’t fly straight into the center of the solar.

The six compliant girls have been despatched to house as a pricey PR train for Bezos’s business house flight ambitions, though Perry mentioned it was really about “discovering the love for your self” and “feeling that divine female”. Inform that to all the ladies worldwide whom Bezos’s pal Trump’s insurance policies are penalising. Singing fool. Katy Perry mentioned she kissed a woman and she or he appreciated it. As Trump rolls again on LGBTQ+ rights I’m shocked the Trump-adjacent Bezos allowed a bi-curious girl into house. I suppose discussions of sexual id don’t matter in the event that they’re mere titillation. And if Perry is bisexual, she is a minimum of much less prone to affect susceptible younger folks whereas orbiting the Earth.

Sánchez, in the meantime, is vice-chairman of Bezos’s Bezos Earth Fund, an environmental group that ended its funding of decarbonisation initiatives in February, according to Bezos’s assist of Trump, who denies local weather change whereas concurrently seeing {that a} defrosting Greenland gives excellent mineral mining alternatives. Why are all these wankers so completely and unashamedly filled with shit?

So I’ve come to Cornwall for every week, however nonetheless I can’t escape the information. As I drove the Penwith peninsula in the hunt for sacred underground Cornish fogous to decompress in, the useless automotive radio immediately discovered a frequency to inform me Perry had sadly survived her Bezos-boosting spaceflight. If these girls actually cared about the way forward for the planet they’d have sabotaged themselves to discredit Trump’s huge tech donor, however they selfishly selected to not. Historical past will likely be their decide.

Ostensibly I’m right here to see the Tate St Ives exhibition of the mighty Twentieth-century surrealist Ithell Colquhoun, whose biggest works have been impressed by the landscapes of Cornwall, and who died in its loving arms in 1988. Just like the late standup comic Jethro, Colquhoun is indivisible from the land that nurtured her expertise, and each created works known as This Practice Don’t Cease Camborne Wednesdays, although just one options an impressionistic portrayal of the vulva as twin columns of flame.

Thirty years in the past I’d choose up Colquhoun’s signed books, their worth unacknowledged by distributors, in secondhand outlets and surprise at her obscurity. However tides flip, and now she is commemorated, 47 years from her passing. Possibly at some point I could but assist Bloomsbury’s Museum of Comedy stage that lengthy mooted Jethro retrospective? However first, I’ve to file my ultimate Observer column.

My sister asks why I’m not showing at Norwich Theatre Royal, and so do I, as my tour exhibits all the time promote it out, generally twice over. I start rambling about “visibility”, and the way a complete technology of us, as printed information and reliable present affairs tv started to wither, got here to depend on social media to bob us alongside on its churning sewage-strewn floor. Then Trump’s tech bros skewed the algorithms away from liberal content material and, in Google’s case, even agreed to alter the title of the Gulf of Mexico to appease him. Historical past is mutable, it appears.

I can really feel folks glazing over as I clarify this. What does the tip of verifiable data matter to them? In any case, The White Lotus was effective, regardless of the flawed ultimate episode, and that’s sufficient absolutely? And all politicians are as unhealthy as each other anyway. And I realise I sound like that American bloke on acid at a Butthole Surfers gig in 1988 saying The Man is controlling our minds with miniature ear robots and hidden smells. However this time round, all these stoned paranoid imaginings are lastly true!

We put our futures, and it appears the way forward for information themselves, within the palms of bent balding billionaires, nonetheless nursing a grudge towards the children from their highschool who performed guitar or drew cool comics. The Trump administration, accommodated by the likes of Keir Starmer and Katy Perry, is the geopolitical equal of a soccer participant stuffing the face of the boy who gained the spelling competitors into the bathroom bowl. For ever.

Right here’s the place we, and random Venezuelans with random tattoos, begin paying. Typically, I feel one routine I wrote about immigration someday within the early 00s was shared by socials so usually it principally gave me a profession, culminating within the Occasions calling me the world’s biggest dwelling standup comic by osmosis. I’m the Ralph McTell of champagne socialist satire. Let me take you by the hand.

However now all the pieces has modified. Campaigns, comedians, critics, charities, writing careers and worthy causes that gained traction within the tiny rest room window between the downturn in print media and the dual horrors of Musk’s annexation of Twitter and Google’s obvious abandonment of its “Don’t Be Evil” mantra would by no means flourish right this moment. We give delivery astride the grave. The sunshine gleams an instantaneous as Twitter helps Tracey Thorn from Every part However the Woman turn out to be a bestselling writer. Then it’s evening as soon as extra.

I feel somebody must construct a brand new international information community, disinvested from media cash males and Trump knee-benders, to avoid wasting goal reality as we all know it. Possibly Andrew Neil might do it, utilizing the talents he discovered from kickstarting GB Information? In the meantime, signal as much as my month-to-month mailing listing at stewartlee.co.uk to search out out if I ever play Norwich Theatre Royal once more, or whether or not my everlasting absence from jap England turns into simply one other victory for the fascist future. So lengthy and thanks for all of the fish!

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